I had Trooper and his friend searching the house for things that start with the letter 'd', and pretty soon they had run out of ideas. By 'they' I mean Trooper's friend, because I'm pretty sure Trooper hadn't come up with anything. So I decided to give him some hints. "Trooper, what's walking around here that's white and furry, and starts with 'd'?"
"Well, Alethea starts with 'a', but what is she? That starts with 'd'."
"That's right! I have one more idea." I briefly thought about the best way to hint at the word 'door'. "We have something here that's white and kind of tall, and starts with 'd'. What do you think it is?"
He thought for a minute. "Dad!"
Me: While you're eating breakfast, I'll practice my songs.
Trooper: Oh, The Star Bagel?
Me: No, The Star Spangled Banner.
3. I Might Get Kidnapped
Trooper: The fed ex guy is coming!
Me: OK, go answer the door.
Trooper: I can't!
Me: Why not?
Trooper: I might get kidnapped!
We were at this awesome little store called Produce Junction where you have to wait in long lines to get your produce, but where it's really cheap and quality is good. The store is one room, where I could easily see him from any point. I said, "Trooper, you wait here with the cart while I go find the food so we'll be far up in the line by the time I'm done shopping."
"No, mom, I don't wanna stay here."
"You'll be fine, just stay right behind this man and don't lose our place."
"No, you stay here!"
"If I stay here we won't get our food, and if you get out of line, we'll lose out place." I looked back at the growing line behind us, and knew it would add quite a bit of time if we left our spot. The woman directly after us seemed amused by our conversation, but I did my best to ignore the audience. "Just stay right behind this man," I said. "And when he moves forward, you move forward, but make sure you don't run into him."
"Trooper, please just do it. It'll save us a lot of time." I knew I couldn't really MAKE him stay, and I certainly wouldn't be able to stop him from running someone over if I wasn't there.
Finally, he rolled his eyes and huffed, "I'm gonna get kidnapped."
Jonathan left Trooper out in the car for about four minutes today (in safe weather, where he could see him from the store window, with locked doors) because Trooper didn't want to get out of his car seat just to run something inside. When Jonathan returned, Trooper told him this story:
"Dad, while you were gone, a man in a truck almost kidnapped me and put me in a cage!"
It could be a faze, but I'm hoping all those lectures about safety are actually sinking in.