For years, Trooper has come up behind me and gently gnawed on my butt or the back of my leg, depending on how tall he was. It's always been weird, but he's kind of a weird kid, so no surprise there. Well, the other day he told me why he did it. It turns out that he was pretending to be a calf nursing, and that he thought that's where the milk came from. Who knew? Of course I immediately took him to the computer to see pictures of cows and various other animals nursing in order to clear up the confusion, and assured him that mammary glands are in no way connected to the urethra. Whew.
2. A couple of days ago, Trooper was eating a brownie when he heard a big truck outside. He shoved another bite in his mouth as he climbed down from his stool, eager to see what was going on. Then he paused before he reached the floor. "Um, Mom, can you put this in a to go box?"
3. One night we were sitting out on the back porch eating dinner, talking about something or another, when Trooper said, "Did you ever get fired?"
Jonathan and I looked at each other and then at him. "No," Jonathan said slowly, clearly as confused as I was.
Trooper's face brightened. "Do you want to know what it feels like? GET OUT OF HERE, YOU'RE FIRED!"
I almost fell out of my seat laughing, and Jonathan could barely catch his breath. Of course, this made Trooper laugh too, and we all had a good laugh fest. When it quieted down, Trooper looked at me. "Have you ever been fired?"
"No, I've never been fired. I've never even been close to getting fired…"
He interrupted me, "Do you want to know what it feels like? GET OUT OF HERE, YOU'RE FIRED!"
I do wonder what the neighbors think. But I'm afraid to ask.